To be, is to be related.

i have been thinking a lot about relationships over the last few years and how they make up all parts of our lives and everything we do. i was recently posed a question...if you have 2 notes played together, is it a relationship or is it a chord? i thought it an interesting question and i believe that even if it's a chord (tonal or atonal) it is built of relationships...the relationship of intervals and sounds and vibration. so, not unlike light - which is two things, both a particle and a wave, 2 notes played together are also two things...both a relationship and a chord.

i believe everything we do is a relationship...from relationships with friends, business partners, spouses, teachers, students, boy/girlfriend, people we have known for a long or short time, things we are familiar or unfamiliar with, food, our bodies, composition, art, our passions, nature, thoughts & ideas, our surroundings, our fears, likes, dislikes, and, our most important relationship, the relationship with ourselves. lately, i have been reading (and highly recommending) a book called "On Relationship" by a great writer/speaker/teacher named Krishnamurti. he is very clear about the universality of relationship by saying, "To be, is to be related." and that the one thing inherent in every relationship is that there will be 'conflict'. he is not judging conflict as positive or negative but rather looking at it as an opportunity for us to understand ourselves better by recognizing our role in the conflict and realizing the conflict is within US - not in the object, situation, or person in our relationship. using that conflict as a reflective process to see ourselves better. for example, as a musician, there is 'conflict' in learning an instrument...all the difficult concepts, scales, patterns, notes, rhythms, etc...we have to work on to become proficient and the thousands of hours of practice, education, rehearsing, etc...but we choose to embrace and accept that 'conflict' because of our passion for music and we choose to move thru it in order to get to the next level of expression. the idea or concept is the same for any type of relationship we are in. i believe this is something i will never stop thinking about and thought i would share the book and ideas with others who might be interested...i like to think about how i relate to my relationships...it's been quite eye (and ear)-opening.


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  2. Jeff...well reflected, sir, well reflected.

    Have you read Kierkegaard? You emphasis on the self as the most important relationship reminds me of K's work called Sickness Unto Death. Kierkegaard speaks about "selfhood" (or one's true self) and the idea that the search for oneself is our most important goal in living. He also speaks of purpose and the relationship between the infinite and the finite, etc. It's a fabulous read.

    I certainly agree with you (and Krishnamurti) that everything we do is a relationship. I believe that it is much more difficult to define how these relationships affect us, or to define our self-conflicts. However, this definition and our sense of self according to relationships is very ponder-worthy :)

    Thanks for sharing!

  3. I've been thinking about this since you posted it. Thank you for sharing it, and thank you for the recommendation!